Last Saturday night, my belly dance troup perfromed at Rakkasah West which is the biggest belly dance festival in the world! It was so amazing! I went there early with anther troup member and our teacher so that we could shop and watch other perfromers before we went on stage. I got the most beautiful tribal skirt made out of old sari material from a vendor called Ganesha and I would recomend them to everyone. I also got zills, cds, a cover up and the hat of my dreams which is a silver sparkly fedora.
As for performing, I have to say, I was so nervous. I usually don’t get nervous before performing, but then again, I’m not usually performing in front of hundreds of people wearing minimal clothing and a heavily padded bra. But we went out there and we did so good! At least, I think we did. I haven’t had a chance to see the dvd of us yet, but it felt really good and now I can’t wait to do it again!



On the downside, I was going to go to junior prom with my friend, but he can’t go because he has a jump rope competition that day. I was really looking forward to going with him because he’s a senior and he’s going away to college next year and I won’t get to see him as often :( .and now I don’t have a date...again

I want to say up front that this has absolutly nothing to do with paganism except for the I'm Pagan and it happened to me. I just amd writing it here because I know none of the people mentioned will ever see it.

Tonight I went to my friend's birthday party at one of her friend's houses. It was just me, her (who i'll call B), a guy from our class and then her friend, whos house we were and who I didn't know very well. My friend has been questioning her sexuality recently and thinks that she has a crush on one of our female mutual friends. She knows that I've had experience with girls and stuff so she's been talking to me about it a lot with me.

Anyway, at this party we were just hangin gout and listening to music and dancing around and everyone else was drinking. I don't drink, smoke or do drugs, so I was just hanging out, not drinking and it was fine. Eventually, B and the guy who's house we were at got really drunk and we were all lying on the bed and the guy whos house it was kept going on about how much he loved us all, when B started licking and biting my stomache and ribs. I thought she was just kidding around and stuff because my friends and I do weird stuff like that sometimes. Then I realized that she was being completely serious and she was really horny and really drunk. I felt bad because it felt good but she was drunk and I didn't want to take advantage of her but everytime I tried to stand up to leave she kept pulling me back down onto the bed. I really did have to get home but before I left she insisted on giving me a hicky, and she gave me the biggest, darkest hicky I have ever had. About an hour after I got home she called me to see how my hicky was and to tell me that she had just had a topless make out session with the guy from our class who was there. I'm not really sure how I feel about this. I'm not jealous or anything but I'm just worried because she was drunk and I just hope she doesn't regret any of it tomorrow. At the time, she said it was her best birthday ever, which I hope is still true tomorrow.

 

I'm always the sober friend and I'm tired of it...

I was really sick last week but I'm better now...but I have a week of homework to catch up on, which sucks.  So here's some poetry.

 

I had a song inside my head

But I forgot the words I said

when I saw your face

Your eyes were clear as mountain air

I had no chance, it wasn't fair

you never had to chase

Arms, leg, hands, feet

Deep in our darkness, lips meet

feel my heart race

We had some time in the setting sun

Fond memories, but now it's done

no more of your embrace

From the start it couldn't last

Now it's gone and in the past

Never would I erase

You were the song inside my head

It plays on but you are dead

gone without a trace

 

 

I ususally hate Valentines day, but this year was different. I usually spend the day being pissed off and annoyed and I think a lo0t of that was because of the high school atmosphere. Serenades, balloons, rosegrams, and kissing couples are everywhere. At De Anza, there were a few people with huge balloons walking around, but other than that, it was a normal day. In the evening, I went to this party that Belinda was DJing at with Alex, Shinshin, Ryan, Belinda's cousin and Shinshin's friend. It was the most fun I've had ain a long time. At the begining , there was a salsa lesson, which was fun because I haven't gone dancing since the summer and I missed it. At 11 we had to leave because the cops came and we were all under age except for Belinda's cousin, so we went to Jack in the Box and then to Belinda's uncle's house, which is about a block away from my house. We just hung out and chilled and talked and it was just really laid back and nice.
Maybe V-day isn't so bad after all...

Friday, I went on a date with a possible SAT tutor, which I really need. Saturday I went to a reunion for my elementary school which was really fun, especially since I hadn't seen a lot of the people who were there in years. I hadn't seen Tony and Eileen since like third grade. I was surprised that it was so much fun and not awkward at all. Then Sunday, I spent all day in the emergency room because I was throwing up non-stop and I was so dehydrated. When I got to the emergency room I had to go to the bathroom and I got in, locked the door and passed out. I woke up to hear my mom screaming and banging on the door. I guess I hit my nose on something because it was really hurting, but I think the garbage can kind of broke my fall because I didn't hit my head fortunately but I did spend the day in the emergancy room until 10:30 which sucked. I had a 103 degree fevor for most of the day and I was in so much pain with my back and neck and legs and shoulders cramping up that I finally let them give me morphin (which was amazing). I still feel like crap today. I ahave a splitting headache and I can't even look at solid foods, I can only drink clear liquids.
My Best Friend of the Day awards go to Tony for texting me all day after my fevor broke while I was waiting to see if I could go home, Fred for texting me even though she is also really sick, Nisha, for coming and bringing me a change of clothes and visiting me and Amy for visiting me at like 10:00 when she should have been home sleeping.

I was so excited about track. It was going to be so amazing, but I just found out on Monday that I can't do it because it would wreck my NCAA eligibilty when I go to college. You can only play college sports for four years and since I'm not even technicly in college yet, if I was on track at De Anza this year and next year, when I go to college I would only be able to do it for two years. The program that I'm in now doesn't want to be responsible for that, which I understand, but I'm still disapointed. The track coach said I could still train with the team, but it's not the same. I signed up for about 5 runs in the next few months though to make up for it. I want to do as many races as I can before I turn 18 because for a lot of races, 17 and under is a lot less money for entrance fees...





On the bright side, I had a date last night...I'll see what happens...